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Racism or legit concern? Father of biracial kids gets secret paternity test because one is darker

By Lee Cleveland - June 22, 2023

A recent incident shared on Reddit’s “AITA?” forum has sparked outrage and raised important discussions about the complexities of racial biases within families.

A white father, whose children are biracial, secretly ordered a paternity test for his son based solely on the child’s darker skin tone. This action has resulted in accusations of racism, leaving his wife furious and challenging his understanding of genetics.

The Background

The couple’s journey began when they got married after the woman became pregnant.

“My wife got pregnant with our son early in our relationship. We had only been together a year. We got married because she got pregnant. Fortunately for us, we are actually happy,” the husband wrote.

They now have two children—a 3-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy.

The husband, who identifies as white, recently expressed concern about his son’s darker complexion, contrasting it with his daughter’s resemblance to him. He found himself questioning the paternity of his son and eventually decided to undergo a secret paternity test.

“I never realized how powerful it is to know a child is yours,” he wrote. “I bonded with her easier because there wasn’t the question of paternity dangling over our heads. My family bonded with her faster too. Her resemblance to me convinced me that my son is not mine.”

He was so convinced that he wasn’t the boy’s father and thought it was “unfair” that he “had to care for someone else’s child.”


“Genetics are weird.”

The Results are In…

 “I finally got a paternity test in secret,” he wrote. “I was relieved to learn that my son is in fact mine. Genetics are weird.” HA! “Genetics are weird.”

“I feel much closer to him now that I know he’s mine.”

When he confessed to his wife that he got the paternity test, she wasn’t happy about it. “She asked me if I ever doubted our daughter, and when I said no she called me racist,” he wrote.

“It’s not true,” he added.

Understanding Genetics and Diversity

It is essential to acknowledge that genetics are complex and can manifest in various ways, resulting in unique physical appearances within families. In biracial children, it is entirely possible for their features to be an uneven combination of both parents. Doubting the paternity of a child solely based on their skin color is an act rooted in racism, as it fails to consider the intricacies of genetic inheritance.

Emotional Consequences and Parental Responsibility

The husband’s decision to secretly order a paternity test had profound emotional consequences within the family. His wife and son felt hurt and betrayed, leading to a strain in their relationship. The wife rightly pointed out that her husband’s actions made their son feel unloved and questioned the foundation of trust within their marriage.

Confronting Racism and Rebuilding Trust

While the husband believed his actions were justified, it is crucial to acknowledge the harm caused by his racist assumptions. Recognizing and confronting these biases is the first step toward growth and healing within the family. Open and honest communication, empathy, and actively challenging one’s preconceived notions are essential to rebuilding trust and fostering a healthy environment for the children.

The Internet’s Response and Condemnation

The story gained attention on the internet, with users vehemently condemning the husband’s actions. Commenters were quick to label his behavior as racist, emphasizing the negative impact it had on the child and the family as a whole. The consensus among online communities was that the wife’s reaction was justified, considering the emotional toll inflicted upon her and their son.


The incident involving the biracial family has shed light on the persistence of racism and the detrimental effects it can have within a family dynamic. It is crucial to confront and address these biases head-on, fostering an environment of love, acceptance, and understanding.

By promoting equality, celebrating diversity, and actively working against racial prejudices, we can hope for a more inclusive society that embraces the beauty of every individual, regardless of their skin color.